WEEK ELEVEN PICKS: GIVE MY REGARD TO BET STREET (I DON’T KNOW PRECISELY WHERE GAMBLING IS HEADQUARTERED)
Last Week: 2-3-0, Season: 27-24-0, Lifetime: 82-53-3
Rams (-4.5) @ Patriots — Heaven help me, I like a road fave Stafford. His whole thing screams “Second Act” these days. We’ll always love him for his feats in Detroit but they truly feel like history now. He’s a Ram, and good on him I suppose. But yeah, I think him and a full receiving corps can outscore the young upstart Drake Maye enough to cover this kinda purchase-y line on the road. Purchase-y like, “Yowza that’s a lot of purchase.” Still though, Rams cover in Fox Borough? Foxboro? Fox, Bro?
Browns (-1.5) @ Saints — To quote Kenny Loggins quoting nature’s universal final act, “This Is It”. Make no mistake where you are, Jameis Winston. Short of something truly inconceivable happening, this Revenge Game might be the personal Super Bowl of your career. You’re the favorite. Gotta have it to keep your team in the hunt, nominally at least. Gotta carry them, Fameis. Rubber’s meeting the road, my guy. Win the winnables, and cover for the Dog Heads or however it goes. Browns TCOB.
Ravens (-3) @ Steelers — I know one thing about this rivalry: both teams take it quite seriously and knock the snot out of each other. I think the Ravens might have a slight edge in snot knocking talent but the Steelers are tougher over four mean quarters at home. I’m taking the home dogs from Three Rivers. Russ Wilson’s a rivalry game guy. The Steelers defense has to to be the one tough enough to stand up to Baltimore, right? Stillers get it done. Primanti, which is Pittsburghian for, “Sneeze acknowledge.”
Chiefs (+2.5) @ Bills — I don’t even think this is what Vegas truly believes. I think it’s how they can get the public sto gamble. I mean, SURELY Mahomes can’t rally as an underdog again, can he? The prodigal sun of the plus? They’re trying to make the streak look too easy, trying to prey on your “smarts” in a reverse psychology trap. Don’t fall for it. Just pick Mahomes and the Chiefs until they lose, then probably even still keep picking them. Over time, you’ll make money. But definitely take him when they’re getting points we’ve been over this so much already keep up.
Jaguars (+13.5) @ Lions — Yamahama that’s a lot of points. Though they did do us the grace of knocking hook off a two-touchdown W. It’s hard not to like the Lions against a backup QB, at home, and after having to really eke out some difficult roadies. I say take them, they’re gonna put on a fun and amped up show on O. And Zad-Man (probably not gonna call him “Zaddy” under any circumstances… we’ll see in the press if he just prefers his first name “Za’Darius”) Smith should get on the stat line with a couple of sacks. That’s right, two! He’s gonna go nuts with how much fun it can be when everyone’s going full speed in the exact same direction. Explosive results. Gimme the Lions and take your sizable points!
Sorry for the truncated tract, true believers. Duty calls. Enjoy the end of your autumn and the slow start to your winter. Auf Wiedersehen!
