Used to Think the Reindeer’s Name was Blitzin’

Congratulations on making it through (pretty much) another year! Nothing to be sneezed at these days. With the ending of another December in sight we somehow this year get to take even more delight in our glorious holidays — the schedulers seem to have packed every spare moment of decent television space with some football. Nice to put on a game, play some post-meal euchre with your family, digest the food and share how the year went with each other. Cool they’re doing that. But before that! There are many crucial games to be played this Sunday. While the AFC playoff picture is beginning to look fairly clear, the NFC still has a lot of teams with at least a faint glimmer of hope. Crucial matchups this week. Let’s hit the picks.

WEEK SIXTEEN PICKS: WHY’D THE KID FROM “A CHRISTMAS STORY” SO SPECIFICALLY AND VEHEMENTLY DISLIKE A FOOTBALL AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT? IT’S NOT A TERRIBLE GIFT. IT’S A FINE GIFT. SHEESH. I MEAN, I GET THAT HE REALLY WANTED THE BB GUN BUT HE ACTED LIKE RECEIVING A FOOTBALL WOULD BE LIKE GETTING KICKED IN THE SHIN. BOOMERS NEVER HAD A CHANCE AT BEING NORMAL.

Last Week: 3-2, Season: 45-30-1, Lifetime: 100-58-4

Eagles (-3.5) @ Washington — Just really hard to pick against Philly right now. There were minor rumblings about the personal relationship between Hurts and AJ Brown being not so great. If this is how they play when they’re openly talking in the media about not liking each other, how high is their actual ceiling? I’m officially worried about the Eagles, the team which loyal readers will note I picked to meet our beloved Lions in the NFC champ game. That hook makes me a teensy bit nervous but I just can’t get past how much the Eagles deeef has improved throughout the course of the season. All biz today. Iggs.

Buccaneers (-3.5) @ Cowboys — This week’s lines can all be categorized into at least one of only two different groups: huge and/or puzzling. The lines this week are either giant or bewildering. Conventional wisdom would say that if you trust yourself, just pick against the ones that don’t make sense to you. So that’s what I’m doing here. The Bucs absolutely decimated a legitimately good Chargers like, twelve seconds ago. They’re one of two teams to beat the Lions, the other of which is a legit Super Bowl contender. They can be quite good. The Cowboys are and have been lost. For more than a month. And I only have to lay a hooked field goal? I have to see for myself, and attach money to the inquiry, if I’m this clueless about pro football. Bucs, but with this weird and rapid vacillation between confidence and trepidation. What does Vegas know that I don’t? Gotta find out.

Rams (-3) @ Jets — I’m basing this solely on Stafford wanting to have the proverbial last laugh over Aaron Rodgers and Davante Adams. I think Staffy wants this win bad and can will the Rams to victory over a team that has a lot of reasons to throw in the towel. Y’know what’s weird? Obviously my pick for the Jets to make the Supe was hugely wrong, but in my mind I still think they can be good. And while I can’t justify the feeling with rational thought, the feeling lingers yet. I think Rodgers torturing the Lions for ~15 years kinda made me insane when it comes to analyzing his football fortunes. Anyway, LA Rams please.

Vikings (-3.5) @ Seahawks — Another road fave, swooping into town to face a home dog and giving up a field goal and a sweetener. This time I’m picking the dog. I’ve liked Seattle’s toughness all season. I think their one huge deficiency (O-Line) is kinda rounding into a semi-respectable form. That seems like a straw grasp, but these Seahawks seem like the kind of players that play their best when it’s do-or-die. While this game isn’t mathematically “or die” for Geno-no-no-no and the gang, it kinda might as well be. And if they can win time of possession by ~10 minutes or so they have a great chance to win this game. I like them to get their best win of the season this week. Seahawks pull the upset.

Lions (-6.5) @ Bears — Thankfully, I think we’ve reached a critical mass, injury-wise, here in Motown. Thankfully, you say? Yes, thankfully. This seemed like the kinda problem that had to become almost farcically outsized in order for it to self-correct and regress to the mean. If the Lions get a few key guys back in good health for the playoffs, we have as good a shot as anybody. In our current form, hoooooo boy you really find yourself wishing for a healthy roster. The numbers are staggering. Plus, the Bears play us tough. Shoot, they played us closer than this line; 1) at Ford Field, 2) when the Lions were a much healthier team, and 3) when Caleb Williams wasn’t in the middle of a sneaky heater. I kinda don’t understand why the line is this high and I’ll gladly try and buy our beloved Leos a dub here. Bears plus points, sadly.

That puts Week Sixteen in the books! The passage of time is always a remarkable thing when viewed from a lofty perspective, but by golly this football season has absolutely flown by. Only 3 more regs, including today! “All good things..”, right? As we approach another Christmas and New Year, I want to sincerely express my gratitude to the readership of MichaelWritesTheLions.com. All of us here have great appreciation for your crucial role in this endeavor. Ultimately, we write for you. Thanks for sticking with us. Hope you made a little dough. And we also hope you have one of those holidays you remember for the rest of your life. They all turn out great, to be sure, but let’s make this one a real all-timer. Be safe, have fun and let love fill your heart to the brim. Thanks again, friends. Auf Wiedersehen!