Last Week: 4-0-1
Season: 47-25-2
Merry Christmas to my fellow C-Sweet (I’m workshopping “C-Sweet” in an attempt to manufacture a Christmas equivalent of T-Bird) celebrants and a Happy Holidays to all during this glorious time of year. It’s weird, very non-Christmas weather down here in southeastern Michigan right now. Very wet, highs in the upper 40s and low 50s. To cope with the bummer lack of snow and general greyness in the air, I’m pretending I’m having a Seattle Christmas vacation. It’s kinda fun and it helps deal with the weather, but a woman at a gas station in Trenton became upset with me when I flung a full-sized salmon and drilled her right in the head. Just a cacophonous “THWACK” of scaly protein against a terrifyingly surprised noggin. I can admit in hindsight this was a mistake on my part. All I was trying to do was take some of that Pike Place energy and metastasize it back here at home so I can glean the most possible enjoyment from Christmas, but this woman was being difficult and “having trouble” understanding why a man would feel justified — nay, enthusiastic — about chucking large fish at a stranger. Sometimes it feels like people don’t even want to get in the Christmas spirit anymore. I dunno…
But let’s get to why we’re here: football!! There’s some unexpected preshy on the Lions in this week 16 contest against the Vikings. Due to the Seahawks pulling off the “upset” against the apparently heavily-Matt-Patricia-infuenced Philly Eagles, the Lions haven’t clinched anything yet. Which means nothing’s completely accomplished, nothing’s on wax. And that, in historical Detroit Lion terms, means everything’s still up for grabs. They have to come heavy this afternoon. Minnesota would love to play spoiler against us and the Bears and Pack showed them a pretty clear method on how to do so. The key to this game are simple, and as I iterate it you’re gonna be like, “Man this guy repeats himself a lot.” What can I say? This team isn’t overly complex.
If the Lions’s lines play well, I believe it’s a near certainty we cover the 2.5 point spread. On offense, our skill guys match up well with almost anyone in the league. Def the case this week. Save for Justin Jefferson, Detroit’s skill guys are better than Minny’s guys. They just are. Not by leaps and bounds, but my a noticeable margin. If Goffy has a very, very clean pocket from which to operate our offense is incredibly good; it’s difficult for almost any team to keep pace when we’re firing on all cylinders on O. On deef, there are some vulnerabilities. Our linebackers are solid but rarely spectacular. The secondary can’t hold coverage for extended periods of time which brings me back to the first point in the paragraph: if the line wins, the deef is phenomenal. They showed it against the then-plucky Broncos. C.J.G-J coming back should be a boon in the back, and Paschal looks like he’s rounding into fine form at just the right time, but all these points are window dressing when compared to the main fulcrum on which this game will be moved: the Lions D-Line versus the Vike offense.
I think the Leos win the trench matchups, and empty the tanks on Christmas Eve. I like that we have a sneaky extra day rest and I like that we’re on the road the day before a holiday. It’s a tough environment but we thrive when Campbell can make these things galvanize our spirit. I believe he gets it done, and the Lions get it done as well. Take ‘em and leave the points for Santa.
WEEK SIXTEEN GIFTS OF GAMES
Seahawks (-3) @ Titans — I liked the positivity that was radiating after Seattle’s win against Philly. They can push for a playoff spot, and Geno-no-no looked positively elated for Drew Lock. Carroll has a knack for creating locker rooms where guys are in good moods and I think that pays dividends in the late season. Let’s take those Hawks for a roadie W in Nashville as they strive to sneak into the playoffs.
Cowboys (+1.5) @ Dolphins — Dolphins win the week’s mojo due to the Hard Knocks episode and that über-accountability display from McD. They’re a no-bullshit team with talented dudes everywhere. Combine the home venue and the Cowboys not feeling like a team that’ll gut-check itself on Christmas Eve and taking the Fins minus the points seems like an obvious one.
Raiders (+10.5) @ Chiefs — Picking this one because the bloom is off the Pierce-led Raiders. There aren’t enough Jims and Joes on that team to X and O their way to victory. And I think K.C. is sailing their way out of some doldrums. Also, it’s the first game of Christmas Day and betting on a nice and easy favorite feels like a gambling equivalent of housing some delicious hot cocoa and cookies. Eat up! Gimme those Chiefs, I’ll drop whatever points ya want.
Ravens (+5.5) @ Niners — It seems like a suicide mission betting against the Niners now that they’ve gotten right; now that Purdy’s gotten right. And despite how thoroughly they thrashed my guys, there’s something about Baltimore that makes me slightly doubt them as sincere Supe contenders. I think it’s the recent playoff struggles. Anyway, this doesn’t seem like the group to flip that. They’re not monsters like the Niners are. Take the monster Niners.
I hope you all have a Happy Holiday season and a very Merry Christmas indeed. Have fun times with your families; let them know you love them and you’re glad they’re yours. Get some good rest and look back on what was, hopefully, a positive 2023. Thanks so much for your readership. I wish my schedule allowed for the type of writing I was putting out in the first half of the season, but time and money are far more powerful forces than blogs. Still, I love you all. Next week. Auf Wiedersehen!
